“Loaves and Fishes”

Pentecost 8 -3rd August 2014

                                                                                                                               

Liz Gordon

Readings:

Isaiah 55: 1-5 –invitation to the thirsty

Matthew 14: 13-21- Jesus feeds the five thousand

This story in today’s Gospel is one that really resonates with me because I’m someone who likes to know where my next meal is coming from! When in doubt carry a picnic or at the very least an emergency banana! In today's story, I suspect that I'd have been the one carrying the loaves and fishes in my rucksack. Would I have willingly handed them over? Well that's another story.

Let's look a little more closely at the events that led up to what we now refer to as the feeding of the five thousand. Well it seems that this event was not part of Jesus' planned itinerary. The day begins with him needing to spend time alone to take in and reflect on the news that his friend John the Baptist has been killed. So he takes himself off by boat to a deserted place. However, somehow word gets round of his intention and the crowds are there to meet him when he steps out of the boat. Does his heart sink? Does he get back into the boat to get away from them? No! We are told simply 'he had compassion for them and cured their sick.' Jesus, despite his own need for solitude, simply cannot help himself. He is the embodiment of love and compassion. It’s who he is. I’ve no doubt this is what made him so attractive to people, why they followed him and pursued him. There’s nothing so compelling as feeling totally loved, cared for and understood.

To get back to the story. It’s getting late and the disciples suggest to Jesus that it’s time for the crowds to be dispersed so that they can go off to buy food. (I suspect that the disciples themselves might have been wondering where their next meal would be coming from.) Then Jesus turns round and says to them ' there's no need to send them away, you feed them.' WHAT!' Can you imagine it? Faced with thousands of hungry people and a paltry two fish and five SMALL loaves and Jesus says 'you do it’! But then he says ' Come on, bring them to me' and because, by then, they’re beginning to trust him, they hand over to him the loaves and fishes. He blesses them, breaks the bread and then . ... well, we know the rest.

It's such a well known story. One that we learnt in Sunday School and have heard many, many times since - one of the miracle stories.

But I believe it has something important to teach us about prayer.

Let’s look at the disciples. They see a need. These crowds of people, in their urgency  to see Jesus have lost all sense of time and haven’t made provision for themselves. They’ll need to eat soon. I can imagine the disciples huddled together, having a little discussion. Then they approach Jesus 'Send the crowds away so they can go into the villages and buy food.' Simple! Sorted!

Imagine the scene if Jesus had done as they suggested. All those people turning up to buy food at the same time. Imagine the queues! The irritability! What about those who’d forgotten to bring money and would have to trudge all the way home on empty stomachs?

As it was Jesus took the little that they had to offer and transformed it so that the day ended up with a great big picnic, everyone got plenty to eat and they were all fortified for their journey home.

So often, we come to Jesus, just like the disciples did with our own plan of action. This is the problem Lord but I've worked out what needs to be done so please answer my prayer in this way. Then, if God doesn’t answer our prayers in that particular way, we become discouraged and if it keeps happening, we might even feel that prayer is useless or at least doesn’t work for us.

I fell into this trap three years after my husband had died, when I was feeling really lonely. I worked out that the solution to this would be to find a new partner and marry again. So I prayed for a husband. Well obviously that prayer wasn’t answered!  It has taken me a considerable time to realise that God’s answer to the very real problem of my loneliness might not be the same as mine. It’s taken me even longer to accept that his solution might actually be better than mine. Moving to Dunbar, coming to St Anne’s, starting training for lay readership. None of these were part of my plan but through them I’m finding that my loneliness is diminishing and what’s more, life is taking off in new and exciting directions.

Sometimes we struggle to pray for others because their needs seem so complex or their situations so desperate that we can’t see an answer. We can’t come up with a plan of action to put to Jesus. I think Jesus says simply ‘Come on, bring them to me.’

As the fourth century Egyptian monk Macarius  said “There is no need at all to make long discourses; it is enough to stretch out one’s hands and say ‘Lord as you will and as you know, have mercy’. ”

As for ourselves we know that our merciful and compassionate God, wants the best for us but we might just be surprised by what that ‘best’ turns out to be.

So dare we put ourselves into his hands as an offering (like the loaves and fishes) to be broken, maybe and then transformed?

Maybe rather than asking God to bless the plans that we have made, we could pray something along these lines.

Lord, you love me and care for me like no one else can. I believe you want the best for me. You know my needs, you are aware of my limited resources. Please take me and what I have, bless me and transform me in ways I cannot even begin to imagine.